For those of us who have even an ounce of Christian beliefs completely get the idea of Delighting yourself in the Lord in hopes that everything you truly desire (even the things you don’t know) will begin to be revealed in your life. I don’t know about you but I have this faith….a faith that I have already been witness to at many periods in my life. Have you ever realized how good you feel when you do something that was commanded of you by God. Don’t you feel that much better about your growth? Well I do…maybe in this blog i’m speaking to myself….but….its all making sense in my little head.
I am preparing to teach a bible study class with a few friends titled “Having a Mary Spirit: Allowing God to Change us from The inside out” and this morning I was reviewing the book before we purchased it. I came across a paragraph that hit me like a ton of bricks because it answered the question I have been asking God repeatedly for the last couple week….”LORD WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?” … it said:
Spiritual Discontentment is a gift from God – He stirs you when He wants to change us. He makes us uneasy with where we are so we are willing to do what it takes to get where He is.
The mere fact that i am discontent must me a good thing right? Sometimes i wonder what life would be like if I had no spiritual background…but then I remember that I have eternal life in this so it MUST be worth it! Any who…i’m feeling my thoughts straying so let me zero back in on what this blog is suppose to be about….
BACK TO THE QUOTE…..I am constantly feeling God’s presence in situations in my life. In the good, bad and ugly. Most recently it has been in my relationships. I know when God doesn’t want me in a situation because I am constantly upset, angry, annoyed…and it isnt for silly girl reasons…its really is because I cannot be evenly yoked when it comes to my beliefs, standards and ethics. No matter how much you love someone…when you put your faith first…thats all that really matters. I feel like people need to get with it or get lost. When you belief in something …it affects your entire way of life, your thinking….whats real to you…and i’m finding it hard to relate to people (guys in particular) who aren’t on my wagon…and its driving me crazy…stir crazy….its like every little thing about relationships is making me uneasy now…God is telling me to walk away…but then there’s this thing “doing what i want…or what my heart claims to want”. Its such a constant battle. As in…i scream at myself “BREE what are you holding on to?” God is showing me the light but I have sunglasses on. REALLY?!?!?
In no way am i saying i’m the perfect christian…all my friends know i have a potty mouth plus other things i wont discuss BUT i should be aiming to at least be there. Be like Christ. And what sense does it make me walking into a walk everyday knowing i’m gonna get the same headache i did yesterday even though my emotions are telling me differently… I need prayer. I need some christian friends.
UGHHHH….This is just a random venting blog. Not meant to be understood.
HOWEVER Do listen to:
FRANK OCEAN : We all try….